If you've been keeping tabs on the Broadway scene for the past few years, you've probably also noticed the slew of [Major Motion Picture]: the Musical titles that have started to take over the stage.
I have nothing against the concept of a film-to-stage adaptation in and of itself. But my gripe with these new musicals is that they seem to be mindless cash grabs, latching onto whatever films are the most popular instead of mindfully picking films that would translate well into musical format. Like, I promise that nobody was asking for The Notebook: The Musical.
So in the midst of the current Broadway creative slump, I would like to recommend 10 films that I think deserve musical treatment. (Or deserve it more than The Notebook, at least.)
10. My Cousin Vinny (1992)
There's just something about a fish-out-of-water story that translates so well to the stage. I think it's that the contrast between character(s) and setting is just so much more effective when you see it live, especially when you throw music into the mix to further convey that contrast. I will never get tired of these kinds of adaptations.
My Cousin Vinny is not only a perfect fish-out-of-water story, it's also partially a courtroom dramedy, which is a tried and true formula in the world of the theater. Nothing against Elle Woods, but I fully believe that a Vinny musical could give Legally Blonde a run for its money. (And that's saying a lot, because the Legally Blonde musical was pretty damn good.)
Eleven o'clock number: "Automotive Expert"
9. Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)
From a writing standpoint, Romy and Michele is like, fine. Nothing spectacular, but it does what it needs to do. But what I REALLY love about this movie is that it's visually stunning. I could barely tell you what happens during most of the plot, but fuck if I don't remember the costumes.
Seriously, think of the costumes. Think of the costume CHANGES. This movie already goes so big with its presentation (which is what makes it so iconic), and a musical adaptation would just be an excuse to go even bigger. (Plus some 80s-inspired, poppy-sounding song-and-dance numbers might be just the thing that could breathe some life into this film's lackluster storyline.)
Eleven o'clock number: "Time After Time"
8. UHF (1989)
Confession: I actually don't like this movie. Part of my issue with it is that it's ostensibly "zany," but completely fails to deliver on any zaniness. Most of the individual sketches work fine, but the overarching plot lacks Al Yankovic's same wacky, over-the-top style that would have made UHF a comic masterpiece.
My proposed solution? What would be more wacky and over-the-top than putting the movie into song and dance - especially since Weird Al's specialty is, first and foremost, musical comedy. Adding a bit of his signature musical flair to this movie is exactly what could save it from itself.
(Mr Yankovic, if you're reading this, hit me up - I think the two of us could pull this thing off.)
Eleven o'clock number: "The U-62 Telethon"
7. Brigsby Bear (2017)
Did anyone else even see this? No? Just me? Seriously, it's a shame how underrated this movie is.
More to the point, it ALSO captures a Broadway niche that I think is equally underrated: puppets. Dancing, singing puppets.
There's a LOT of overlap in the form and function of puppet-centric educational children's TV and puppet-centric musical theater. The only show I can think of to have capitalized on this is Avenue Q, but there is SO much more potential for blending the two genres--comedically, artistically, etc. And Brigsby--weird, whimsical, wonderful Brigsby--is the perfect place to kick things off.
Eleven o'clock number: "The Brigsby Movie I Made With My Friends: World Premiere"
6. Donnie Darko (2001)
I'm a little hesitant to add this because part of me knows that if there WAS a Donnie Darko musical, its fans would be absolutely insufferable (as fans of teen-oriented high school musicals tend to be). BUT a bigger part of me also knows that this would be fantastic on stage.
This movie would work great as an avant garde piece of theater, complete with abstract interpretive musical numbers that represent Donnie's weird supernatural experiences. Like a Matilda the Musical for people who think they're too edgy for Matilda.
Eleven o'clock number: "October 30, 7 A.M."
This is probably the biggest "hear me out" on this list, but...hear me out.
For a couple years now, I've been rolling around in my head the idea of a "jukebox" musical about sailors, wherein all of the songs are taken from existing shanties or maritime folk standards. But the issue with 19th century maritime history is that it's not exactly...exciting. It is not, for the most part, upbeat or fast paced or colorful--everything that a musical should be.
The solution: take these songs and put them into a maritime story that's more interested in having fun than in period accuracy. And that's exactly where Cabin Boy comes in, as a movie that takes its anachronism in stride and uses it to the film's advantage to play around and have fun with the narrative. And that spirit, which makes the film so great, could only be amplified by translating it into musical form.
Eleven o'clock number: "What Shall We Do With the Drunken Sailor"
4. The Stepford Wives (1975)
Stepford is a veritable camp classic--I'm honestly surprised it HASN'T been adapted for the stage yet. Especially since they already remade this movie and got BETTE MIDLER, of all people. And they didn't let her sing? Criminal.
The camp horror genre as a whole has an excellent track record in terms of musical adaptations (think Little Shop, Evil Dead, Young Frankenstein, etc.), because these movies are already so theatrical that song and dance are just a logical next step. I reckon that The Stepford Wives is the perfect candidate for this treatment because it's not just theatrical, it's ABOUT theatrics--the theatrics of suburbia and wifehood and womanhood. I think that the "suburban gothic" motif would be especially interesting to watch come to life on stage.
Eleven o'clock number: "A Town Full of Robots"
3. The Brady Bunch Movie (1995)
Ok, I know I said non-musical movies, and this movie admittedly DOES have a few musical numbers. In fact, the premise of the movie itself was inspired by another live Brady Bunch musical....revue, of sorts. But the movie and the revue still weren't quite full-blown musicals, meaning that the Brady family has yet to be given justice on stage.
And god, do they deserve justice. This movie, and the rest of the Brady franchise for that matter, teeter as close as humanly possible to the line of musicality without actually crossing it, and I have no doubt that the final step into stage musical territory would perfectly bring to life the Bradys' penchant for camp. Hell, most of the songs are already right there - just throw in a couple more numbers to balance it out, and you're set.
Eleven o'clock number: "Keep On"
2. Ghostbusters 2 (1989)
This film flopped and I genuinely can't fathom why, because it's kind of excellent. Like, better-than-the-first excellent. The only reason I can possibly think of is that there weren't enough musical numbers to keep the audience sucked in.
Ghostbusters 2 is, at its core, a movie about fighting bad feelings by feeling good (literally). And what better way to convey feelings--good AND bad--than through music? On screen, when the movie reaches its pinnacle of feel-goodness, it's underscored by the song "Higher and Higher," and it takes the mood of the scene from 0 to 100. You don't have to just take the scene's tone as read--the music pulls you in and makes you want to get up and dance through the streets of New York, too. I say we should keep a good thing going and score the rest of the movie the same way.
Eleven o'clock number: "Higher and Higher"
Slap Shot is already so immaculate that it may be tempting to leave well enough alone--why fix what ain't broke? But even if it's a cinematic masterpiece and the greatest sports comedy of all time, it's so much more than that, too.
This movie is about as far as you can get from a musical--it is the ultra-masculine to the theater's feminine. And yet, it's a story that is embedded with musicality, ebbing and flowing in a way that demands to be articulated through song. Its plot lends itself perfectly to the two-act structure, and its self-reflexive commentary on entertainment and performance deserves to be PERFORMED.
If they can do Disney on Ice, they can do Paul Newman on Ice.
Eleven o'clock number: "Old Time Hockey"
