The 15 People You'll Be Compared to When You Bob Your Hair, Ranked

One thing about having a bob is that people will NEVER let you forget you have a bob. I know this from experience because this has become known as my signature hairstyle, to the never-ending amusement of my circle of friends. Here are 15 of the iconic bobs my own hair has been compared to over the years, ranked from best to most egregious:

15. Rooney Mara in the movie Carol

This is literally just what I look like in real life. 1000/10, no notes.

14. Ichiko Ohya

I've never played Persona 5, but I think she's VERY chic, very city. If my bob looked this good, I would never shut up about it.

13. Amélie from the movie Amélie

She's the ONLY person who can pull off those microbangs. (My bob is NOT that short. I know better.)

12. Snow White

I mostly get this one from little kids at the supermarket, which is adorable. I like to think I'll look like this after I finally get that nose job I keep talking about.

11. Faye Valentine

I got this one, like, RECENTLY, and it was extremely flattering bc I WISH that I looked that cool. But I also know deep down that I look nothing like this. She doesn't even have bangs.

10. LeanBeefPatty

I won't lie, I barely know who this is--I guess she's big on social media or something. She seems to mainly rock a long bob (or "Lob"), but I'd be lying if I said my hair has never gotten that shaggy too.

9. Junie B. Jones

"You kind of are Junie B jones. I will not elaborate, it came to me in a prophesy [sic]" 

(Instagram direct message to the author, September 30, 2024, 10:16 p.m.)

8. Velma

Overused comparison, but at least she's kind of mod and groovy. I can live with that.

7. Judy Neutron

This one particularly pisses me off because that's not even a bob. Like, did I have flipped ends at one point? Sure. But that does NOT mean I looked like Jimmy's mom.

6. Coconut Head

Too obvious of an insult. I'm asleep. Try harder.

5. Dora the Explorer

See above.

4. Davy Jones (from The Monkees, not the Pirates franchise)

Thanks for this one, Dad. Very cool of you.

3. Lord Farquaad

A classic insult from my middle school days. A little obvious and overdone, but if it works, it works.

2. Squilvia

If Farquaad was too obvious, Squilvia was too niche--which almost makes it worse. Like my friends really had to DIG for this one, and it caught me so off guard at the time that I still think about it constantly.

1. That chick from The Shape of Water

This movie came out when I was in 9th grade and the allegations started IMMEDIATELY. And all due respect to Sally Hawkins, but being told I looked like this as a teenager did irreparable damage to my ego. The allegations haunt me to this day. I will never escape.